What if….?!

What if… there are so many!

What if I went somewhere else

What if I wasn’t playing the notes

What if that night I walked away

What if I didn’t call

What if I wasn’t in the mood for a road trip

What if I gave up earlier

What if…

But here’s the thing

I wouldn’t have spent enjoying all this time

I wouldn’t have learned that much

I wouldn’t have had all those memories 

I wouldn’t be writing what I am writing now

Because some mistakes are meant to be made and to tell you the truth… you were the best mistake I have ever made…

Four of a kind

So let me make this as simple as possible. What are we? Who are we!?
There is the crazy one, the one you can rely on when you need something really off the chart to be done, the one who makes you laugh, who creates the jokes with you.
There is the shy artist one who is always there for you and who, deep down, is the one who loves to live, to make a mark. He is the one you rely on with anything concerning the magic of arts, the one you rely on to make memories immortal.
And then there is a really original one! She is like living in her own world with no worries and where everything is nearly perfect.  She is the one you rely on to calm you down, to tell you that time will fix it all, and that everything seems magically more beautiful when it’s own time comes.
And last, you have the rebellious one. The one who hates rules, borders and limits. The one who is a heavy dreamer and sensible but who is crazy enough to rip everything apart if wrongly treated, you can rely on that.
In a perfect world, we don’t match, we are not even close. But in my world, we are the best foursome, and for better or for worse, we will always be there for each other.

A trip into a forgotten train station

My final letter to you

My dearest Love,

This would be my last letter for you, my last words, my last confessions, so I hope you read it.

In here, you will find all the pain in my eyes, all the tears on my cheeks, and all the thoughts I am scared to admit.

 

I love you, and I kept it inside my heart all this time, masked it with other words just to give you some slack.

I love you, and it started to hurt now that I still do… three words had just caused my heart to crack…

Three words, expressing all that is in me for you, left my soul such a wreck…

But like I have never loved, like I will not love again, I love you, from here till the sun and back…

 

Like water is missed by a poor dying thirsty tree

Like a bird in a cage that just misses to be free

Like a once heard suppliant dying to hear an answer for his plea

I miss you! I miss how we were; I miss how we were supposed to be!

 

And I hate you! Believe me, I do!

I hate you for not believing we can get it through

I hate you for breaking my heart and making me feel so blue…

Oh I hate you just as much as I love you!

 

I know you don’t love me anymore, I know I am just like any other, I know you don’t care as much as before,

But I do, and if there’s a way to fight for what we once had know that I would definitely fight that war.

But it’s all gone into smoke, and yet I wish it will come true all that I am praying for

Because I love you, I miss you, and that’s all that in my heart to pour…

 

Yours faithfully,

A memory just like any other….

Lost it

So I took my pen and stared at the white page in front of me…

There was too much to say, too many words to be freed…

But I couldn’t! I just stared into that paper and the pen in my hand

And I left my words in my mind, I left them in the void of my thoughts hanged…

 

I should have known that this was coming

I should have felt the ink of my pen drying

I should have seen it when I stopped hearing my heart humming

I should have known and felt it when I saw my soul dying…

 

So I put down my pen and admit that I hit a wall

Because the day I lost you, I lost it all….

 

Last farewell

I didn’t know that day would have on me that effect…

I didn’t know that it would be the last picture of you my eyes kept

Was it the last time I see your face!? I didn’t really tell

Because my dear now I know, that day was our last farewell…

 

I wish I held you close to my heart for some more time

Took advantage of the moments when you used to be mine

I wish I told you again and again how for you my heart fell

Because Baby now I know, that day was our last farewell…

 

I wish I had given you many more last kisses

I wish I told you that you were in every one of my wishes

I wish I wasn’t to that extent under your charming spell

Because Dearest one now I know, that day was our last farewell…

 

And in that day I dropped from Heaven and started to live in Hell

Because my Love now I know, that day was our last farewell…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday

Tonight I raise my glass for you

For all the moments that will come

For all what we’ve been through

Hoping that all your worries will succumb.

 

Tonight I raise my glass for you

For your arms around my waist

For all the joy and laughter, and for the tears too

And especially for those enchanting eyes on my face.

 

Tonight let’s raise our glasses and forget all the blame

Just remember happiness and love with its inside flame.

 

Tonight I raise my glass for you

I wish you well and all and here’s the rest

I surely hope it will all come true

Because you surely deserve the best.

 

I wish you a life full of health, joy, fun and without any regret,

For you to be surrounded by people you love and who love you back.

May you find your half who will make you forget

The whole world and will keep you on the Love Track.

 

Tonight I raise my glass in your way…

And I send you a sincere Happy Birthday!

 

My reason why

I’ve been asked why I always smile, why I have this urge to live every second of this life enjoying it. I’ve been asked the reason of my strength, of my persistence, of my will.

So now I smile, I point my finger at you and feel really proud about what we have.

We have each others back no matter what, we are there whenever needed, we make life much easier, and above all we know how to laugh.

So to you, I bow my head. For every moment spent together, for all the tears that has been replaced with smiles, for every crazy moment, for every hysterical laugh, for all that we’ve been through, for my reason why…

For you my friends…

Tomorrow if I die…

Tomorrow if I die… I don’t want you to mourn, I don’t want you to grieve. Remember me as the girl who smiled a lot for no reason and tried to make the world a better place as much as she can. Try to embrace life and take each day as it comes, and most of all face all your fears and grieves with a smile, like I would do.

Tomorrow if I die… I don’t want you to worry that I was still young! I had my share of life, I laughed with friends, I had fun in moments although there were tears along my path. My dreams…. at least I saw one of them come true and lived through it. I reached some goals and some others are still pending but it’s ok to let go sometimes.

Tomorrow if I die… I will never see your face again. I will never get that chill I have down my spine with every touch of you. I will certainly miss your embrace, I will definitely not know what is the taste of your lips on mine.

But tomorrow if I die… sweet love of my heart, I will be released from your pain…

Eager to meet you

To my person Jo. May all your dreams come true.

If  I see you right now, I would smile, I would hold you close to my heart, I would kiss your cheeks, I would sing you a lullaby.

If you are in my life right now, you would make me smile, you would make me laugh, you would make me worry, you would even make me cry, but above all, you would rule my world.

I love you!

But you, you don’t exist yet! It’s a little early for you to come… Even though, child in my dreams, I’m just eager to meet you!